I am feeling very overwhelmed these days.
If you know me at all, you know I have this habit…this tendency…this….PROBLEM. I take on WAAAAAAAAY too much. I just want to do everything all the time. I am working on learning to say no, which helps a little. Honestly though, most of what is on my heaping plate I put there all by my little self. I am usually going at least a thousand miles an hour, and then if something unexpected comes up, I run the risk of going off the rails entirely.
This coming week is a perfect example. Thank the GOOD LORD I have Monday off. Because I have recording sessions booked on Tuesday and Wednesday (after teaching all day…of course), then after teaching on Thursday I am heading to Lethbridge where I’ll be staying overnight and then presenting at the Teacher’s Convention on Friday. As soon as my session is done, I’ll be jumping back in the car and heading back to Calgary for a Friday evening recording session. I’ll be in the studio for more recording on Saturday and Sunday. I’m exhausted just thinking about it.
But…you know what? It’s all good. This is what I asked for. This is what I have waited for and prayed for. I am doing all the things I love and have been dreaming about for years (well…almost all…I want to write children’s books but as my dear friend Catherine reminded me tonight, perhaps I should just finish the album first…).
Do you know what overwhelms me way more than my to-do list? God’s goodness.
God, in His goodness created me and gave me life. He designed me specifically and with purpose, for a purpose. I have decided to live my life seeking to fulfill my God-given purpose and to honour my Creator and Saviour by giving Him the glory through every step of the process, good or bad.
God, in His goodness has brought dreams that I thought had died back to life, and is guiding me through the journey of making them a reality. Today I was practicing one of my songs (gotta be recording ready!!) and I actually broke down crying, totally overwhelmed by what was actually happening right at that moment.
I’m practicing a beautiful song that God inspired in me. I’m preparing to record it. Professionally. For real. Along with the rest of my…..ALBUM?!?!?! Is this real life???? In the most incredible studio, with an amazing producer, with insanely talented musicians… It is almost unbelievable. But it’s REAL. I’m DOING THIS.
How I will ever make it through these songs without an emotional breakdown in a live show….I do not know…(I have ’til May to figure that out…MAY!!!!).
And then there’s you. Yes, you…reading this silly little blog of mine. My network of family and friends and people I am meeting along the way at preschool teacher’s conventions or church or friend’s houses or the most random places. You who are excited for me and who are supportive and who are just so with me.
I am just so overwhelmed by love and friendship and the support of so many incredible people that God has brought into my life. All of it points right back to God’s goodness and I’m just a big puddle of tears all over again.
There is always a choice. A conversation with my bestie Tiffany reminded me of this last night. I can choose to focus on my ridiculously jam-packed schedule and let it stress me out and overwhelm me. I can choose to feel disappointed by the dreams that have not yet been fulfilled in my life, or the prayers that have not yet been answered. Or I can choose to see the many blessings in the midst of all this madness and let God’s goodness overwhelm me. If God’s love and goodness is an ocean, I’m right in the middle, far away from shore, and I’m doing a back float with a big, stupid grin on my face. : ) Maybe we’ll run into each other out there…