Today is the first day of the New Year. 2017.
2016 was not an easy year. It was a year of turmoil, confusion, uncertainty, change, loss, grief….I could go on. I can easily say that it was the most difficult year of my life.
It was also the best year of my life. 2016 was the year that I *really* met Jesus…I mean, I’ve known Jesus for a long time, but this was the year that I let Him meet me in my mess, and I realized that my mess didn’t matter to Him. This was the year I discovered how very loved I am. This was the year I began to understand my true identity. This was the year my heart was set free.
Out of all that…the mess, the pain, the tears…out of the growth, the triumph, the joy…
I found my sound.
I started singing when I was very young, and was lucky enough to begin playing piano as a child as well (thanks Mom!). Music was always my language. Always. I excelled in piano lessons, I had a sweet little voice and could carry a tune, and I had this crazy curiosity for music. I remember sitting in church trying to copy the music out of the hymn book (before I learned to read music). It fascinated me. It still does.
As a tween I started sneakily playing around on my Mom’s guitar (without her permission….GASP…) and began to write songs. In high school I was in full singer-songwriter mode. I won awards for my creative writing and sang my little teenage heart out at coffee houses and variety shows at my school. I loved it. I mean…..I LOVED it. All I wanted to do was music.
Well….I also wanted to teach. That is another side of the story that I’ll save for another time. That is my “real” job right now. I am currently a Kindergarten teacher. I also spent 9 years teaching both Kindergarten and Music, and sharing my passion for music with literally thousands of students over those years was a gift I’ll always cherish. All this time I continued to sing and play at church. I love nothing more than to worship my Saviour.
Though music has been a huge part of my life, there has always been this deep longing in me to *really* go for it. To write from my heart, to record and release music, and to get back into performing. But…….well, you know…….life.
And then….2016. Out of this crazy, roller-coaster mess of a year…I found my sound. I spent all of July writing. The entire month. Since I am a teacher, I had the summer off. I would literally get out of bed at 6:00 am, run down to the piano in my pajamas with a little snippet of something in my brain, and write. I spent full days agonizing over chord changes, tiny lyrical changes, and song structures. Some songs just poured out of me. Others I had to battle. God gave me an idea for an album on July 2nd, and it was written by the end of the month. The whole thing. I feel like God and I wrote these songs together.
These songs I wrote are my heart…my raw, broken, bleeding heart…my healed, restored, mended heart. Writing them was painful. It physically hurt. Maybe that sounds a tad dramatic to you, but this is no exaggeration. I poured every ounce of all that I am into these songs. They are deeply emotional, spiritual, personal…but somehow I believe they are universal. I am weepy with anticipation and excitement as I type this now…I just cannot wait. I cannot.
So….I am mid-way through the recording process. I have a producer and he has a studio (it is CRAZY AMAZING….beyond my wildest dreams….Ephesians 3:20 anyone???), and I’ve hired musicians and we’ve jammed and rocked out and made some magic as I’ve emptied my bank account… There is lots more work to do, but I don’t think it will take that long. I don’t have a date yet, but I do believe the album will be done this spring.
THIS. SPRING. PEOPLE.
Thanks for reading, and I hope you’ll check back in with me…especially when the album is done! I can’t wait for you to hear it!
This process has brought me back to life. I pray that 2017 will be a year of life for you. God bless.